forward, forward, always forward
nothing good that’s over can ever count —
but somehow the bad that’s over and done
still gets held against us
good deeds and praise and
monumental achievements seem
to disappear in time through the conscious eyes
of those perceiving the tragic narrative around us…
the recency effect is potent, but that
doesn’t mean it should encompass all,
grudges stay, scandals remain,
and somehow good people still get defined
by the worst things they’ve done
…a smudge won’t budge
even if it’s a stain on an angel’s wing…
if we crucify all our saints
for their human imperfections, we miss the point
of what it means to try to be good
in the first place…
I think we fail and we fail often —
we are not machines running artificial programs,
we are real and ugly and we will disappoint, constantly…
but would it be so bad to step forward, to judge ourselves
by our best and let our purest acts stand proud against
our woes? can we let the wondrous be set above the mistakes?
we are fragile, we are broken, and we are poor
because we desire,
not the other way around
Garbage Notes:
This poem is about the tendency that humans have to forget the good things about people over time. However, on the other hand, even one single negative thing can have huge ramifications to a person’s reputation. And these negative things may never be forgotten.
The words here highlight how unforgiving we can be as individuals, but also how punishing we can be as a society.
Nothing good that’s over can ever count—this emphasizes the recency bias. How there’s this mentality of ‘what have you done lately’ that permeates our culture. Whether it’s in our social lives, in the workplace, at school, among our families and loved ones, or even just in terms of general accomplishments.
You could have done something amazing years ago, but if you’ve only been average since then or maybe you’ve had difficulties or bad luck in the present time, people will begin to write you off.
No one cares what you did last decade. It’s all about what you can do now. And if you haven’t done shit recently, forget it.
The notion of crucifying our saints has obvious religious overtones—the idea of a tragic figure who has done good deeds but still somehow falls on misfortune or gets persecuted in some way and then punished. This is a story we are certainly familiar with. It permeates legend, myth, and we see it in books and on the screen all the time.
In our personal lives, though, we don’t have to be so dramatic. We can still value people who have screwed up. We can forgive and appreciate imperfection. A fall from grace doesn’t have to be a drop to one’s death. One misstep doesn’t have to mean denying someone their livelihood.
As the poem says, I believe life would be better for everyone if we allowed our ‘purest acts to stand proud against our woes’.
And having written this poem months ago, it’s always interesting to see what line stands out to me now. Here, I will echo the last phrase:
we are fragile, we are broken, and we are poor
because we desire,
not the other way around
Even now this caused me to stop and really think about it. What does this mean?
The reason we are broken, poor, battered, fragile, etc., is because at one point we wanted something so badly. And because of that desire we went after it. But there’s always a cost.
At times we come up short against struggle and we experience failure. But it’s that initial desire—that yearning—that put us on the path toward losing something in the end. But it doesn’t mean we should lose ourselves in the process.
People aren’t in need because they are lost. They are lost because at one point they were in need. And as long as we’re alive, there is the possibility of redemption.
Franco Amati 2023
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It's funny I was just having this discussion with my mom about how couples bring up the same arguments over and over again. How the past is always dredged up. And no one can ever let things go. But I don't know, maybe in times where our whole lives weren't on the internet things would have been easier. It's like the past versions of ourselves are always right there, for everyone to see, in our it's glory. It's weird, but it's great your poem really got me thinking, as it usually does.
I really appreciated your notes on this one (and the poem, too, of course). "we are fragile, we are broken, and we are poor / because we desire, not the other way around" These are lines that struck me too.
This is a timely concept to explore--in a day and age when it's not so hard to dredge up people's missteps online. Or at least that's where it led my thoughts. Just riffing here. I know it wouldn't go well for me if people knew the worst things I've done. I aspire to the guidance that I am human so nothing human can be alien to me. I believe in redemption. And that line about "our purest acts" standing "proud against / our woes" speaks to me. And yet I find myself frustrated at what can feel like ... I don't know ... shallow apologies taken as responsibility. Maybe judging where it's not my business to judge in truth. Thanks for prompting me to think and share "out loud" on this.