introspection…yeah
I’m going to stop telling people what I used to be
because that doesn’t matter anymore…
I’m going to stop believing in what I almost was
because I have to be what I am right now
I’ll take the heat
and the disrespect
I’ll eat the scorn
and the unjust contempt
because, yeah, it’s hard to be the thing you are
when everybody else sees it as sorta bad…
but I think the truest sight
isn’t seen through others’ eyes —
it’s the kind of vision that requires you
to look inside…
so now I will find peace and joy
within myself
even if that beauty is rarely shared
with anybody else
“There exists, for everyone, a sentence — a series of words — that has the power to destroy you. Another sentence exists, another series of words, that could heal you. If you’re lucky you will get the second, but you can be certain of getting the first.” ― Philip K. Dick, VALIS
Garbage Notes:
This is about the discrepancy between what everyone out there expects you to be versus what you actually are. For some people there’s a big gap between those two things. And depending upon where you are in your life, it can be more or less of a challenge to accept that difference.
Most people who know my story know that I was in a very different line of work before I became a writer. And for years, even to this day actually, I feel compelled to inform them about what I used to be.
I don’t know why, but for some reason (and for some people), it seems sort of obligatory to give a bit of debriefing on who you are and how you got here before they’ll take you seriously.
That’s fair. We all want to know the narrative of the people we’re dealing with. But at the same time, you shouldn’t really have to justify anything to anybody but yourself. Especially not when it comes to your personal ambitions and creative desires.
If you spend all your life trying to seek approval from others, you will only end up miserable. This poem is about looking inward for your own identity. You are what you love, not what loves you.* You are the things you are interested in most. And you are the things you pursue most fervently, even if silently. Whether or not anyone is there to witness it at all.
So stop apologizing. Stop making excuses. And look inward for the peace and joy you deserve.
*quoted from the film Adaptation, written by Charlie Kaufman.
Franco Amati 2026
If you enjoyed this piece, a paid subscription would be the best way to show your support. But if you aren’t ready for that sort of commitment yet, you can always send me a one-time donation on my Ko-fi page.
I really needed to read something like this today. I always find myself needing to explain things to people, but you're right, there's no reason. We shouldn't have to justify ourselves to people just because. For what? Some false feeling of acceptance. Wise words Franco.
Amen! This is such a strong piece. So relatable. Why do we try so hard to get other people's approval when what we actualy need is permission to accept and love ourselves.