the girl on the phone was all like
‘thank you, m’lord — that’s two adults
for our dinner and tournament, m’lord —
we look forward to feasting with you
at Medieval Times…’
so, bring me my crown and my turkey leg
— and what’s this stew? no, it’s tomato soup
in a faux iron bowl…
I hope our team wins!
who doesn’t love knights and jousting and shit?
I hope they sell nice mugs in the gift shop —
the last one I bought got knocked over
by my cat and shattered into about seven pieces
— I was twenty-something then, and now
I’m a bit older…
this time we booked the matinee,
but I suspect it’ll still be a full house…
what can I say? I love all that fantasy shit —
grown men and women in costumes trotting around
on horses, holding lances and shields,
a big fat old king and his lovely sarcastic queen,
all holding court in the middle of fucking
Lyndhurst, New Jersey…
oh, what a life,
what a joy in this life
- Sam: I haven’t even lied in like two days.
- Andrew Largeman: Is that true?
- Sam: No.
—Garden State (2004)
Garbage Notes: